where's the glory?

i'm trying so hard lately to find the reason, purpose, the glory through all this.

by "all this" i refer simply to the seemingly high pile of medical crap (for lack of a more mature word) i can't seem to escape, try as i might.

i'm just done with it all.
the doctor appointments.
the heart pills.
the migraine pills.
surgeries.
er visits.
heart monitors.
unexplained kidney pain.

i keep hearing that through all this i'm being prepared for some ultimate plan. but i'm just so tired and drained that i can't see that far. and i can't seem to make myself stay positive anymore.

i'm trying, really. i just need a lil shove. push. toss.

"Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes and make a new beginning
Anyone can feel the ache
You think it’s more than you can take
But you are stronger, stronger than you know
Don’t you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining"