safe in Your arms.

to the one who's dreams are falling all apart

and all you're left with is a tired and broken heart

i can tell by your eyes you think you're on your own

but you're not alone

have you heard of the one who can calm the raging seas

give sight to the blind, pull the lame up to their feet

with a love so strong He'll never let you go

oh you're not alone

you will be safe in His arms

you will be safe in His arms

cause the hands that hold the world are holding your heart

this is the promise He made

He will be with you always

when everything is falling apart

you will be safe in His arms

did you know that the voice that brings the dead to life

is the very same voice that calls you to rise

so hear Him now, He's calling you home

you will never be alone

these are the hands that built the mountains

the hands that calm the seas

these are the arms that hold the heavens

they're holding you and me

these are the hands that healed the leper

pulled the lame up to their feet

these are the arms that were nailed to a cross

to break our chains and set us free

you will be safe in His arms

you will be safe in His arms

cause the hands that hold the world are holding your heart

this is the promise He made

He will be with you always

when everything is falling apart

You will be safe in His arms...

alto.

The TV is talking
The telephone’s ringing
The lights are all on
And the radio’s screaming
A million distractions are stealing my heart from You
I’m tired and empty
This life is relentless
It weakens my knees
And breaks my defenses
It’s wearing me down and I’m desperate to hear from You

Stop the world I wanna get out
I need an escape away from this crowd
Just to hear You speak to me

I need to be still before I make a move
I need to be humble with nothing to prove
I need Your Word to show me the truth
And I need time, precious time

Stop the world I wanna get out
I need an escape away from this crowd
Just to hear You speak to me
Stop the world I’m ready to listen
Show me sign, give me a vision of heaven
I can hold on to
Stop the world I need some time with You

Before I can find my voice
I need to hear Your voice
Above all the senseless noise

compassion...

A student asked anthropologist Margaret Mead for the earliest sign of civilization in a given culture. He expected the answer to be a clay pot or perhaps a fishhook or grinding stone.

Her answer: "A healed femur."

Mead explained that no mended bones are found where the law of the jungle, survival of the fittest, reigns. A healed femur shows that someone cared. Someone had to do that injured person's hunting and gathering until the leg healed. The evidence of compassion is the first sign of civilization.

-taken from "Nurses: 2011 Desk Calendar"

prizes!

head over to Carolina Carters Blog to check out a chance to win a CSN gift card!

it'd be cool to have $35 card to use on virtually aaaanything.

seriously. derrick's mom talked about swingsets, garbage cans, other people had mentioned l-shapped desks even!

csn stores have just about anything you can imagine and then some.

so what am i leaning towards if i win the gift card?

well. i need some new shoes for when i'm done w/ clinicals and am working as a floor nurse. the beauty of thaaat is that i don't have to stick with white. i can branch out. so i'm leaning towards these bad boys. brace yourself. remember nursing shifts are at least 12 hours. usually more. they're a new level of sexy...haha. they're comfy. and that's what i'm going for. i'm in it to save lives. you'll thank me when it's your baby's life i'm saving ;)

i think this set is super cute too. but $35 doesn't put a huge dent in the super expensive price tag. i'd have to find a twin at ikea instead =)

those are two of my ideas. i mostly like the shoes best. haha, plus they're def cheaper on csn than if i were to go to the scrubs store and buy them. and that's an idea i like!

so head over to carolina carter's and enter for a chance to win! or don't...that way i have a better chance =)

starting from scratch.

i met with my new EP this week.

i'm "tricky" and "complicated".

unfortunately he says so much has been done during all the cath surgeries and ablations that it's hard to tell what's good data to go off of and what's not...so for these first 3 weeks, he's adding more meds to try and control the arrhythmias and collect the even more recent monitor print outs i've had. then, he'll either base his next moves off those, or he'll collect his own.

part of him believes he will find i have the dueling pacemaker business going on again and that the normal sinus node is not behaving like it should. and by "behaving" they mean working. a relatively scary thought. it tends to be lazy and take a few seconds to kick in when it needs to. performance anxiety, lol.

i'm torn and frustrated. he brought up the potential for a pacemaker should he find that there's damage or defect to my sinus node (which he said seems highly possible). however. he said he'd also like to see medication manage that if entirely possible due to only being 23 and active; that i'd be dependent on this device for life and what kind of life would that be having to go in every 7-9 years for lead and battery replacements and the worry for infections, etc etc.

i wish i knew how to stress to these guys that. here i am, 23, spending every 3-4 weeks in countless doctor's offices, shoving pills into myself that VERY few 23 year olds do, i'm miserable. i have insane chest pain, i can't live a normal active 23 year old life. i want to be able to run without getting so tired, to not have to so methodically plan out my day around what i'll be able to physically handle.

so really.....what amount of "normalcy" are they trying so hard to preserve? as far as i'm concerned? it's been long gone.